Saturday, June 26, 2010

Alone without being lonely

It's a Friday night and I'm sitting here in my living room watching reruns on Bravo.

I'm in the middle of a bustling city and I'm sitting here alone.

It's not that I'm not happy or content, because in fact, I totally am.

But I feel like I should want to be out in the midst of all the activity.

That I should want to be partying it up with a bunch of people I don't even know.

That I should want to be drinking and running aroud the streets of Richmond.

But (at least this particular weekend) I would much rather hang out by myself at my old townhouse tucked away on a quiet, one-way street.

Even if I'm currently trying to avoid a mouse that made an appearance in my bedroom last night, which actually drove me to tears. But that's a whole other story.

But I hate when friends make fun of me for wanting to stay in on a Friday night rather than go out.

They think it's crazy that I would want to sit by myself rather than go dance and drink and laugh with a ton of other people. But I really think they just don't understand where I'm coming from.

Because the thing is, when you come from a family of 8 (6 kids and 2 parents), finding alone time is often hard to do! I remember being only about 6 years old and carrying blankets and pillows to the bay window in our music room, because that was the only place in my house that didn't have dogs barking, my brother and his neighborhood friends running around, or the sounds of my older siblings arguing.

And to this day, that window in that room is still my favorite place because it remains to be the only quiet corner of our home.

And even though most weekends I do go out and do those things that my friends like to do regularly, there are times where I just feel like curling up in my bed, watching a chick flick on my laptop, and ending the night with a few chapters of a good book.

And the thing is, I think that the friends who judge me for wanting to be by myself are going to have a hard time once they're out of college, because they won't know how to deal with just being by themselves.

They're too used to having to be around a bunch of people and they won't know what to do with themselves when all they have are the thoughts inside their own heads.

And there I'll be with the best of both worlds: knowing how to have a good time and enjoy myself with people I love, but also knowing how to be alone without being lonely.

And if my friends want to call me an "old lady" or a "house mole", I'm cool with that. Just as long as I have my copy of "Gone with the Wind" and some good snacks to help me pass the time.

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